Quotes

Time for another page of the quotable quotes of the EefyWiki master, Dr. Hughes.

"Did I put anyone in a coma?" 8/30/05
"Have you ever watched "Russia: Land of the Czars" on the Hitler Channel?" 8/30/05
"Why the hell did you watch it? You thought it was gay porn probably." 8/30/05
"You know what happens when I say buttplug." 8/30/05
"And man, do I look good in pancake make up." 8/30/05
"You're familiar with the term heiny sex, right?" 8/30/05
"You might as well name your site 'Gay Porn'" 8/30/05
"Adolph Hitler. He was a dick." 8/30/05
"Damn, that was profound. I thought I was gonna say something funny." 8/30/05

On color guard: "Dancing around in skin-tight uniforms...dancing around in skin-tight uniforms..." 9/13/05
"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How'd you get your head between those little legs?" 9/13/05

"Repeat after me: Annuit...Coeptis...bitch" 9/15/05
"Either God...or Providence...or the flying spaghetti monster conspired against me." 9/15/05

"I'm the paterfamilias dammit, and you have to marry Brad Pitt!" 9/29/05
"What city are we attacking today?" 9/29/05
"What kind of fertilizer did they have back then? Jean?" "SHIT!" "Yes, back then you said a little prayer to shit god. Maybe they called him poop god." 9/29/05
"Yes, I would like to drive a Chevy Castration." 9/29/05
"I picked up the stick of repentence, smacked him on the back, and it felt good." 9/29/05
"I am a lordly CHRISTINE patrician." 9/29/05

"Last year, I would practically prostitute myself for Cheetos." 10/4/05
"I was so brilliant that third grade could not contain me." 10/4/05
"I wanna see someone give a speech on pro-alcoholism." 10/4/05
"Now we have terrorists, and that's good." 10/4/05
"Do I know my web address? I'm the duke of urls." 10/4/05
"I promised you I would talk about pig shit." 10/4/05
"Even on the shitometer, pig shit is waaaaay down there." 10/4/05
"I lived in a small suburb of Milwaukee, and we had a glue factory." "That explains things." 10/4/05
"They had gold mines, silver mines, iron mines, cow..." 10/4/05
"It's like you're at a stop light and the guy next to you is revving up the engine of a Mustang GT and you're sitting there in your Chevy Castration." 10/4/05
"In 216 BC, I wasn't there, but Dr. Spisak was." 10/4/05
"My name is Bastard Hughes, and this is why I'd like you to vote for me." 10/4/05

"It's been a half an hour and it's time to grab my ankles." 10/6/05
"I can imagine my dog, Eefy, with wings singing 'I wanna take you to a gay bar'." 10/6/05
"I liked him until I went to the incredible stoned woman's apartment. Now he only appears in my nightmares." 10/6/05
"...and a Louisville Slugger between his legs. He had the dick of death." 10/6/05
"Hey, I found a dead rat. Let's put that in there. (Aside) I just added that on my own." 10/6/05
"Augustus Caesar was the greatest man to ever suck...air." 10/25/05

"I cried tears of hot blood." 11/1/05
"I just wanted to say something slutty and dirty to get you interested." 11/1/05

"They brought him in to protect them from the theiving mo-fos that wanted to rip them off." 11/3/05
"This is an example of the cult of Russian badass." 11/3/05

"I can feel the giant sphincter of the financial world closing." 11/8/05
"I think South Park is about as funny as the clap." 11/8/05
"The Russians have been braced for years against an invasion of Eskimos or reindeer." 11/8/05
"To the south, you have all sorts of interesting peeps - notice my colloquialism." 11/8/05
"Monty Python, which I have never watched not under the influence of some sort of recreational drug..." 11/8/05
"I will let you go and work on your homework or whatever you do, but this is the thought you need to keep in yours minds or I will kill you." 11/8/05

"Hey your sister says hi. Your sister goes to college." 11/10/05
"Enya lives in a castle. And she has stalkers." 11/10/05
Eefy here is the one with facebook. Yongy ate a pot of vaseline." 11/10/05
"Tasty yummy napkins." 11/10/05
Did you say strap-ons? I can't believe you said strap-ons in my class." 11/10/05

"She might have good reason to have problems with men of my gender." 11/15/05
"I didn't even apply for National Merit Finalist. My extra curriculars were drinking Mad Dog and getting high. I didn't know how to put a positive spin on that." 11/15/05

"I'm Dr. Joseph Hughes. Some people call me space cowboy. Some people call me the gangster of love." 11/29/05
"I have to go to the vet. Yes, I'm trying to save money. Maybe they'll spay me while I'm there." 11/29/05
"Pick up the top two pancakes, grab an assload...an udder load of butter *student walks in* I'm teaching you how to eat pancakes." "OK, good, I've always wanted to know how to do that." 11/29/05
"I like Morning Wood." 11/29/05
"Shags are just awesome." 11/29/05
"This is not about fun. This is about doing my work for me." 11/29/05
"Love my love lumps bitch." 11/29/05
"For those of you in the room that have never been a teenage boy..." 11/29/05
"If you are a man and a woman and you want to have a kid, you have to ger an androgenous lesbian transvestite." 11/29/05
"Do hippopotimae go for walks?" "No, they kill people." 11/29/05

Student: "What do werewolf powers include and how do I buy them?" Dr. Hughes: "In her case, growing a dick." 12/8/05
"Bob Keiser was working Boob Holden...oops..." 12/8/05

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