The Quote Board

THE QUOTE BOARD

This "blog" is open for anyone to add to, obviously. I noticed that there are a great deal of thought-provoking, life-altering, hyphen-inducing statements made every class period. This is a record of the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the yadda yadda adejective noun of an average class.

All Time Favorites - The alpha and omega of quotes... maybe a gamma as well.
Repeated Classics - The quotes you expect to hear each class period.

 

Joseph Hughes

9.23.2004 -

• "Take off all yer clothes and squeal like a pig." (This is the only time I've heard a professor say something like this... and probably the last, so enjoy it!!!)
• "Maybe if they run out of Blunts they can get you, Matt."
• "Your mom was a client of my dad."
• "I just love the word 'foodal.' I've been using it for years."

9.28.2004 -

• "Elect me governor of Missouri, I'm an atheist, dumbasses!"
• "I gave 'run through the gap' a completely new meaning."
• "What do you call a baby gorilla? I'll call it an ape-lette."
• "They wung it." (his attempt at the past tense of 'they wang it.')
• "Oh, well, I was going to say something crude."
• "It made a nice purple color that Prince himself would have approved of."

9.30.2004 -

• "I even watched this on Dr. Quinn Medicine woman."
• "They play mullet music."
• "I'm old and fat and last time I broke my leg... nearly."
• "It's no laughing matter... he's dead."
• "Let's give Matt the unlove."
• "What finger is that, Adam?"
• "It's hard to tell with you mormons."
• "I've got twelve burly, buff dudes."
• "Punish me next! Punish me next!" - while flipping us off.
• "Whose name means Lucky Mulberry Pancake."

10.5.2004 -

• "Clyde, you just said anus."

10.14.2004 -

• "It felt like World War 4 had been fought in my head...and everybody lost"

10.19.2004 -

• "I used to go in and say, 'September eleventh never would have happened had Al Gore been rightfully President,' and watch the flames fly."
• "I'm not adverse to that for the final paper-ectomy"
• "I understand if the elevator gets you down."
• "Bye Natalie, say hi to your sister for me."
• "...kicked his sphincter right up through his teeth."
• "You're Nicomedes' Butt-boy."
• "Ceasar's a homo! Caesar's a homo!"
• "That's really important, so read that crap."
• "guys, guys....take it online"
• "the national meal of Bulgaria, which is mud stirred up with cloves, or something like that"
• "jokin' with the Kais' "
• "you've gotta do something to piss off the class Mormon once in a while"

10.21.2004 -

• "Stop quitting whining."
• "The art of old men having sex with young boys."
• "I'm starting to run out of gas."
• "Do I make a hand gesture while 'giving props'?"
• "Or Dildius as I've been known to call him."
• "It's like the end of the world as we know it, but we don't feel fine."

10.26.2004 -

• "This will put you in the mood."
• "Your multiplication skills are impressive, Matt."
• "I know, call me a pervert."
• "Come on you butt-plug."
• "'When the bullets fly is when they send for the sons-a-bitches.'"

10.28.2004 -

• "You can probably smell the Kilz on this lecture."
• "They [the FBI] probably still have a file on me."
• "I think I'll sing it." After which he broke into some opera
• "Just notice that Matt stuck up for Kennedy over Eisenhower."
• "He was ass-deep in sleeze."
• "You see here, where this little thingee is sticking out."
• "Who the hell am I talking to?"
• "He died of Alexander the Great disease: 'Time to invade Parthia! Umph.'"

11.04.04 -

• "Oh Great Fluffy on a shit-stick."
• "This is a good question that I can answer the pants off of."
• "I don't care where that runs." (in refrence to hemorrhoids)
• "Oops, she did it again."

11.09.2004 -

• "Grab your ankles and pay the $300."
• "President Kaiser is a dead ringer for Nikita Kruschev."
• "Illagililate."
• "They've been reading thei Voltare, their John Locke, their... Alexander Graham Bell." (WTF?)
• "Suppose you're a Muslim named Doug."
• "I'm just making this up, but it sounds pretty good."

11.11.2004 -

• "The great thing about being old, or prematurely old like Matt, is that I get these jokes."
• "He was gayer than last years christmas hat."
• "You kids know where hell is, right? Portugal."

11.16.2004 -

• "You'd be taking notes on every little golden butt nugget that comes out of my mouth."
• "Some of these people aren't smart enough to be subverted."
• "independent thought is dangerous"
• "Matt.. pound that into the Wiki."
• "Muslim names like Uday, Saddam... Condileeza."
• "I don't mean to belittle it." Mormon response - "Yeah you do."

11.18.2004 -

• "You don't want to hack me off when I'm inventing grades."
• "Jeez, I just defended Reagan, it must be the end times."

11.29.2004 -

• "That really blows."
• "Fuckin' Ukraine"
• "She's one of those religious people, y'know has long hair--wear jean skirts."
• "Damn, I'm freakin' out my own bad self."
• "Now thats auditory masturbation!"
• "We will Saddamize you."

Christie McElhinney

10.19.2004 -

• "I...uh... SHUT UP!"
• "It's not an issue... it's a thing."
• "I make some pretty mean chili."
• "I mean, did you just make it up this morning?"
• "I was bent over."

11.09.2004 -

• "I had to pay $155 for some jerk to do it!"

11.29.2004 -

• "Seriously, what the fuck?"

Clyde Miller

10.19.2004 -

• "When I click on a page, I don't want to see any of your Partisan Hackery."
• (DYT - "Give yourselves some love.") "I can't do that here."
• "I could B.S. for a thousand words." DYT - "I know."

10.21.2004 -

• "You don't care, but that's cool."

11.04.2004 -

• "You mean Roseanne died?"

11.16.2004 -

• "and by some you mean most"

Doug Ferrell

10.21.2004 -

• "He must be mormonizing."
• "...something to do with little boys?"

Jennifer Pope

10.28.2004 -

• "You'll never answer my question satisfactorily."

Erin Stone

10.28.2004 -

• "My grandmother's name was Schlonga."

Jessica Barnes

10.28.2004 -

• "I just agree with you for once."